A Grown-up in Church

According to Coyote

2010-03-22T13:09:00.010-05:00

My kids & I attended According to Coyote at the Children's Theatre.
Wow! We all loved it.
These were old spiritual stories. They were engaging.

My kids and I attend church regularly and hear the lectionary readings.
Wow! We're all bored.
These are old spiritual stories. They're a struggle to engaged with.

Why?
Is it the stories? I don't think so.
Is it the professional actress and professional support? I think there's more to it than that.

Telling stories is different than reading stories aloud.
A story teller or reader who engages deeply and fully (beyond mind and voice) engages listeners more deeply and fully.
In church we take ourselves and our beliefs so seriously. We resist having fun and playing. We're not good at combining serious topics and serious fun, godliness and play.
Stories benefit from the support of noticeable context, be it visual, auditory, historic, cultural, personal, etc.

How could we do more with this in church & in our families? Brainstorm some ideas. Let's do it .

The Cross and the Gospel - Notes from Church Services

2010-02-07T19:49:00.009-06:00

In the Episcopal church I visited today the Gospel Procession to the middle of the church included the reader and the crucifer.

I appreciated this pairing of the cross and the Gospel. The cross lent a persepctive to the gospel; the gospel gave a context to the cross.

How is the Gospel read in your church? How else have you seen it done?
What approaches do you like? Why?
What approaches do you dislike? Why?
How else can you imagine it being done? Brainstorm.

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My Christmas Shopping is Not Done

2009-12-09T01:55:00.008-06:00

Just saw the movie What Would Jesus Buy? with Rev. Billy and The Church of Life After Shopping. I recommend it.

I bought into most of the beliefs of the Stop Shopping Church/The Church of Life After Shopping years ago. But like most of us I suppose, I struggle to live out those beliefs to the extent to which I'd like. The desire to teach my kids human and spiritual values over the values of consumerism provides my greatest struggles over it. This responsibility toward my kids, in the face of the difficulties of fulfilling it, make me sad and overwhelmed sometimes.

But in spite of that, the movie helped me. It gave me insight, reminders, ideas and motivation! I'm prompted to re-think some of the decisions I still have to make about Christmas gifts and celebrations this year. I have a combination of good ideas and challenging questions. But not much time to figure out how I'll act on them! I think it might be fun though! How many days until Christmas?

If nothing else, whatever I do now is a step in a good direction. How may days do I have to re-think and revise until Christmas 2010? We're coming both to a New Year and to Epiphany, right?
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Bold Simple Questions

2009-11-29T16:43:00.005-06:00

Thoughts based in my reflections this morning during church:

I wonder if -

we're too much "in our heads"
we're really sold on what we say we're focused on

What if every Sunday each of us

made a point of making personal connections with people at church
tried one new thing - big or small - to deepen our worship and our community

I can imagine a diversity of responses.

Have at it.

Just don't kill any messengers, questioners or experimenters in the process - even if you disagree with them - remember we're Episcopalian :) okay?

The Parable of the Great Pearl

2009-11-22T13:29:00.005-06:00

I told the The Parable of the Great Pearl as a Godly Play story at church today. Now I'm reflecting on the experience.

There's much to be wondered about in the story. There's also much to be noticed and learned as a story teller.

I noticed my tendency toward a different kind of response to people's comments, depending on how well I felt they got at the meaning of the parable. I need to work with that!

Aside from the ridiculous arrogance of the idea that I know how the parable should be interpreted or what part should receive the focus, I'm sure letting my own judgements into my recognition of responses will short circuit the work of the parable, the Spirit and the people. If I lead people to feel that there are "right" responses at the expense of supporting exploration of possibilities or at the expense of honesty in our responses, we'll have a hard time to "hear what the Spirit is saying to God's people." The great openness of Godly Play, being able to play and discover what the Spirit is saying rather than pushing a prepackaged, predetermined answer, is part of what I love about Godly Play. But I notice it's easier for me to be comfortable with that as a participant than as the story teller. I wonder why...

I noticed there were wide ranging perspectives. For example, some thought the seller might have a use for all the things he got from the merchant. Others thought the seller had too much stuff.

I noticed that a lot of our reflection had to do with exploring considerations related to all the things the merchant exchanged for the great pearl. (What would he do without these things? What would the other person do with these things? Should some of the things redistributed to other places? Which things? What places?)

I noticed how little of our reflection was in keeping with what I've assumed the parable is supposed to illustrate. I've thought we're expected to see the exchange of everything for the great pearl as a wise, enlightened, fulfilling move. Maybe we are, maybe we're not. But I notice that this largely isn't how we feel about this great exchange. We question the wisdom of it. We're not comfortable with it. I think that might be something to pay attention to and wonder some more about.

I noticed & wonder about other things too....the interplay of literal vs. metaphoric reflections....interest in the biblical reference for the parable...my pacing, how I handled multiple voices at once in the circle...and more.

If you were there is morning, I'd be interested in any reflections you'd care to share. And if anyone wishes to offer feedback to help in my development as a Godly Play story teller, that's invited also.

Thank you.

Seven Word Summary - All Saints

2009-11-02T01:11:00.007-06:00

All Saints: Ultimate issues most personally noted.

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Rollins' Hope to Believe in God

2009-10-09T12:15:00.004-05:00

Well into the game, I've finally come upon Peter Rollins' blog. His post, One Day I hope to believe in God... hits a lot of things on the head for me.

If you have time for more reading, interesting pairings with it are Peter Morrow's comment to Rollins' post and Kester Brewin's parable, Footprints, also on Rollins' site.

Among my responses:

Many in and outside the church operate with the assumption "that we all have a shared understanding of what belief is and what we mean by the word 'God.'" (Rollins) The assumption isn't always true. Recognizing that it's operative and figuring out what to do about it is difficult, yet important.

The assumption is part of why meaningful religious conversation (with religous or non-religious people) and constructive changes in religious settings can be so challenging. We have our definitions of God in boxes. More often than not, those boxes resist being opened.

How do we have a conversation about God when we think about God quite differently than our conversation partner (and we may or may not realize this difference exists)? How do we talk about God when we know our understandings of God differ but we don't understand the other person's perspective, our partner doesn't understand ours, or we disagree with each other's perspectives?

I can see why our boxes resist being opened. Assumptions are strong and ingrained. It's difficult to conceive of what might be outside those assumptions. If we can conceive of it, we may or may not like it. Working with it takes energy in forms that can be hard to come by. It takes a lot of risk. It's scary and threatening. It can lead to reorientation of long held perspectives and beliefs and all they imply.

But not being able to find a bridge between differing understandings of "God" in relationships that matter has its own risks, frustrations, pain and sadness. This applies to personal relationships and to societal level relationships.

How can we communicate about God in ways that might be likely to start overcoming these challenges? How can we do so without throwing the baby out with the bathwater? Or in other words, how can we maintain that which we may find meaninful in religion and at the same time open boxes? How do we make it safe and appealing for ourselves and for others to open boxes? How do we let God and each other out of the boxes and more deeply, fully into our lives?

Proximity - Come on Down

2009-10-05T23:32:00.004-05:00

How does being near or far the altar or front of church impact your involement?

What perspective do various positions give you?

Why do you pick the place to sit that you do?

Have you ever experimented with other places?

Have you participated in churches where physical seating had a different layout?

Read more at my post by the same title on Children in Church.

Link to Food Reflections

2009-08-01T02:57:00.002-05:00

As my church has taken a focus on a food/food shelf ministry, I want to share this post that I came upon.

The Gastromical Jesus from the Painted Prayer Book.

Where Have I Gone?

2009-05-08T02:20:00.005-05:00

Update as of Nov 22, 2009. The details in this post are no longer all accurate. However, you can still find me at each of the places below.

My more active blog is currently the 30 Seconds one.

You can also look for me at the The Garden's Ning.

Do you Twitter? If I know you, and you're so inclined, let me know if you're there. Many of my friends seem biased against it, but I'm intending to try it out & make up my own mind. (So far you won't find me in a Twitter search, so for now, comment here or something to let me know.)

A Little Experiment to Prompt Awareness and Reflection

2008-10-07T01:53:00.009-05:00

Proposal:

Try calling God She.
Call God She as prominently, often and casually
as God is usually called He.

How does that feel?
Is is hard to do?
What does it make you think about?
Why?

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Women

2008-10-07T00:51:00.008-05:00

I've been coming across current expressions of old religious debates about the role women.

They amaze me. Women having authority over men in the context of some secular employment is seen as a problem....what it means for a husband to have "final decision making authority" is discussed at length....

I could enter the arguments & debates: theological, semantic, social, logical etc. (I hate not to, because as a woman saying this I tend to feel I have to prove myself.) But what I think is more relevant and important for me to say just now, is from my experience.

The positions I read about the role and nature of women don't amaze me because I've never heard them before. They amaze me because of how familiar some of them have been, how much I've experienced them and how far from them I've come.

I hope it's not patronizing (or matronizing) to feel this way, but I feel bad for the many women who continue to live within these systems of belief. And of course I want to protect my daughter from as much of the sexism that pervades our culture as I can. At the same time I realize that in many ways I still live within it too. Years of personal experience in patriarchy and centuries of cultural experience in patriarchy don't go away just because one awakens to it a bit and starts to see things differently.

When I primarily identified with conservative Christian groups with predictably conservative views regarding women, I could never really come to terms with those views. It's not that it was always a burning issue. From time to time the issue would emerge, then dutifully get explained and swept back under the rug of rationalization and unawareness to be ignored awhile longer. At the time there wasn't much else I could do. But sometimes it would get noticed enough to be painful. As much as it might be presented otherwise, when I got in touch with it, I couldn't get around the deeply painful sense that in spite of explanation that said otherwise, in reality this position portrayed that women were inherently inferior to men and because of this women were by definition denied certain roles. In other words, as a woman, I was inherently and deeply inferior to that part of humanity that was male, and had to live in an accordingly limited way. I don't think all the explanations in the world, even ones that might be rationally and logically plausible; or the best experience possible in living out relationships with men who might live out this model in the most godly and gracious ways possible, could get me to truly accept this or feel alright about it, then or now.

I want to say to women: you do not have to rationalize this so you can keep yourself within a sexist definition of absolute truth, faithfulness to God and the way "He" made you. You can be honest with yourself and honest with God. You are not a 2nd class citizen because of your gender. You should fight those things from our religion and our culture, and those things within and around you; that say, imply, or make you feel that you are. You are not offending God by doing so.

I don't mean to say men and women, boys and girls are all the same. If nothing else, I've been a wife and mother too long to think that. But don't let your gender put you down or limit you. Trust yourself and trust God enough to be honest about the dynamics of your life, including those related to gender. Then do your best, with God's help, to live true to yourself, the relationships you have and the callings God has given you.

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Greeting Anyone

2008-10-02T01:09:00.009-05:00

I've noted some juxtapositions in my life lately.

Engaging in social & religious conversation in the morning
with a member of a Baptist church that I used to call home.
Engaging in social & religious conversation that same evening
with a pagan high priest.

Reading quotations from the well known pastor of that same Baptist church,
indicating that women should not hold authority over men, even in some secular positions.
Reading "Dance of the Dissident Daughter,"
"A Woman's Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine."

Between, within and beyond such juxtapositions
are my life, my experience and the people I love.

Sunday at church someone explained to my children that in the time of the service called "The Peace",
you can greet anyone you want.

Another person followed up: "That is, if they're in church."

How true!
So many of the people with whom I want to exchange a sign of peace,
In fact with whom in various forms I do exchange signs of peace,
are not in church.

Some are in other churches (of many different kinds)
Some are scattered across the country or around the world
Some do not express their faith in the context of a religious community and
Some belong to religions with other names.

God is with you.
And also with you.

Let us rejoice in the power of the Spirit.
(found in many, expected and unexpected, wonderful places.)

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Back to Posting Here

2008-10-02T01:06:00.004-05:00

I hope to continue the 30 Seconds / 5 Minutes blog that displaced my posting here for awhile.

However, I'm getting tired of everything being constrained to 5 minutes.
Sometimes I'm cheating on the 5 minutes.

So, here I am again.

(I think that was less than 5 minutes.)

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Soon to be on Hiatus

2008-06-27T14:17:00.003-05:00

I'll be removing this blog from my visible profile in the near future.

I'm putting it on hiatus in favor of a new project in which you are invited to join me.

It's in the form of a blog:
30 Seconds: An Exercise in Meaningful and Efficient Communication.

The explanation is here.

Creation Stories

2008-06-05T19:43:00.003-05:00

I just made one of those posts that I find relevant to the way I think of my Children in Church & Grown Up in Church blogs.

I pulled together some children's books of creation stories because of my work with kids. But as with so many things like this, why should we leave the adults out? Some of us adults are fortunate to be involved with kids in a way that provides the impetus for doing this kind of thing. The rest of you might have to make more of a point of it. But if you do, you might get hooked.

You can read more on Children at Church.

Symbols, Stories & Tears

2008-06-02T02:58:00.002-05:00

Some of the strongest symbols are ones that tell more than one story at a time.

One symbol might carry stories of

something that happened a long time ago
ways that first story has been passed on and on to us
our own lives and relationships

As I fought tears while attended the Memorial Day service at my home town's cemetery I realized that this characteristic of symbols probably has a lot to do with why I find myself moved by this kind of event. It probably has a lot to do with other interests and emotions I have too.

I often tend to see things from multiple perspectives. This inclines me to sense multiple stories and levels of meaning in symbols and rituals. The sense of richness, depth or profundity this brings can become overwhelming. The overflow sometimes comes out in tears.

I'm sure this has a lot do with why I love ritual (both religious and secular) and liturgy so much. Their ability to communicate is uniquely powerful. It's hard to find words to effectively, efficiently sum up what a symbol or symbolic action can communicate or evoke in an instant.

Sanctuary

2008-05-08T15:05:00.005-05:00

Sanctuary
Inspired by an hour plus at Eloise Butler Wildflower Garden and Bird Sanctuary

A place peaceful and beautiful
scenes so idyllic and right
you feel it in your stomach
it starts to satisfy, soothe and excite your soul

A place where quiet and slow come naturally, fit with ease
it's difficult to hurry even if you want to
A look at your watch is a pleasant surprise at how little time has passed
but finally, it's hard to go

Banishment from Eden must have been an awful thing

God beyond all names, be sanctuary for my soul
so my departure will not mean
I am banished from Eden again

-Monica, 5/8/08

Link to Eloise Butler Wildflower Garden and Bird Sanctuary

Bicycle Church

2008-05-06T10:19:00.009-05:00

Gethsemane's Green Group is planning to get a bike rack.

I assume this photo from http://www.mandie.net/images/maastricht/im000588.jpg is not what they're planning. The site on which its posted says its an old church in downtown Maastricht serving as a bicycle parking garage.

I'm sure Gethsemane's future won't come to this. But wouldn't it be great if we had so many people biking in our city that a place like this was needed?

I wonder what it feels like to park & pick up your bike from this kind of space? I wonder what responses it sparks.

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Green Churches - Green Theology

2008-04-28T13:33:00.007-05:00

Did you see the article in Saturday's Star Tribune about the role of churches & other faith groups in environmental issues? It had a variety of interesting points. (Sorry I don't have the link handy.)

Several were along the lines of churches bringing a somewhat unique sense of moral responsiblity to the issue. There was also the idea that the belief that God created the Earth serves as motivation for us to care for the earth...respect the Creator by respecting the creation...

Its not that I outrightly disagree with these points. But they don't resonate very much with me.

Moral responsibility for the environment can come from many sources, religious faith oriented or otherwise.

My own faith oriented perspective on environmental issues includes an important moral aspect. But framing it as primarily a moral issue seems to miss the crux of how I understand it and what I find compelling. It see it as primarily a spiritual issue out of which naturally grows a moral issue.

Moral issues are too often perceived as externally imposed obligations. Prodding with a religious should is a poor way to motivate true transformation.

Caring for the environment is a matter of living in sync with God, with the earth, the rest of humanity and our own selves. Christianity supports that best not primarily by focusing on moral responsiblity, but by going deeper to focus on nurturing and developing our ability to be in tune and in sync with these relationships in both our awareness and actions.

As far as caring for the creation out of respect for the creator, it makes me think about how I care for a quilt my grandmother made or objects I've inherited from my mother-in-law. I care for them out of respect for these people and the place they have in my life. My care for creation has a lot to do with my relationship with God. But I dont' have the same sense about caring for the earth as I do about caring for my grandmother's quilt. On second thought maybe I do. But its not the part of the sense that this individual made this therefore I take care of it. It's the sense that these things are a tangible representation of who these people are, who I am, how we fit together and how we all fit into the larger pictures of life and its meanings.

Maybe that's what the Christian idea of caring for the creation as an act of respect for the creator is all about. But I tend to hear the typical Christian representations of the issue with a lot more of an external and overly personified orientation than works well for me. My perception of God has become less personified over time and I see the creation story as more metaphoric than literal. I still hear a lot of the stories and statements of Christianity in the highly personified & highly literal ways I first learned them. Sometimes that gets in the way for me. I don't think I'm alone.

In the context of environmental issues & Christianity, how can we avoid letting the limitations of particular stories & metaphors, or the ways we've heard them in the past, become the limits of our definitions of our spiritual relationships? How can we engage our traditions in ways that maximize their abilitiy to work as intended, as tools to engage spiritual relationships?

Great God Language

2008-04-15T14:27:00.002-05:00

I really like the language for God (if you will, which I think most of my readers will) that Aron used in the blessing Sunday. I grabbed a pencil to jot it down. If I got it right it was:

Holy Eternal Majesty
Holy Incarnate Word
Holy Abiding Spirit

I think it uses traditional language, patterns and concepts, in a way that I suspect makes it accessible and comfortable for many people.

At the same time it opens and expands the possibilities for the way we understand these words (and the way we experience and express our relationship with God) beyond the limits of some of the traditional concepts and language.

If you're inclined to an anthropomorphous and/or male concept of God. I think that can easily fit into this. I don't think this will be too jarring or objectionable. But if you're not, the same applies.

This is a wonderful breath of fresh air.
This is a good step in a direction I want to keep walking.
This is a good step in clearing a path I hope will be available for my children to walk with fewer roadblocks to negotiate than I have found.
This is a good step in clearing a path I hope becomes available for people on the boarder of being disinterested in and disenfranchised from church because for them it is defined by limits that neither fit their lives, nor in my opinion really fit Christianity.

I have no objection to humanized gender specific language for God, or other tangible metaphors for God. I think we should use some of them more. But the humanized male metaphors have so dominated our church and culture that we've often not realized they're metaphors. We've let one or two particular images define and limit our concept of God and with it our spiritual lives and relationship with God.

Thank you again Aron, for helping to open a window.

Church All Over the Place

2008-04-07T02:28:00.007-05:00

There was a lot of church going on after church today.

Lots of people seemed to be connecting with lots of other people...building relationships, exchanging information & ideas, helping one another out, making discoveries, making plans...wonderful, exciting.

Wouldn't it be fun to hang out together and talk and connect like this more? Wouldn't it be great if we started to see this as church just as much as we see our formal service time as church? Not seeing church as either/or, but seeing church as both kinds of interaction (and many more) in ways that would inform and enrich all the ways we interact.

Makes me think of my visit to Solomon's Porch last week....the atmosphere the couches there create...their awareness that their community exits wherever the people of Solomon's Porch find themselves...

I'm also thinking about how much rich spirituality I experience outside other defined limits of church and how I want to be able to acknowledge and experience more of that too. I have a lot more thoughts about that. Too many to tackle effectively in this post.

Prayer at Work

2008-03-18T01:38:00.000-05:00

When I went back to work after a death in my family I received a sympathy card signed by many of my co-workers.

People who, to the best of my knowledge before this, may or may not pray at all said things like "you and your family are in our prayers." Even when people I know to be religiously active mentioned that I was in their prayers it was striking. That sort of thing isn't usually part of my relationship with co-workers.

Of course maybe they aren't all really praying. Maybe its like the greeting, "How are you?" Sometimes you can take the question literally, sometimes not. It seems sadly cynical and disrespectful to think that, yet possibly naive not to. But either way, the statments in the card are holistic and human expressions of relationship of a kind that aren't often made among co-workers.

Thank you to all for your thoughts, prayers and sympathies.

An Exciting Conversation

2008-03-14T17:40:00.004-05:00

One of my kids goes to a weekly class. During the class I often find myself sitting in a waiting room with other parents. One of these parents, I knew from previous conversation, is Muslim. As much as I love to talk with people about religion and their experiences of it, of course I don't normally grab near strangers and begining inquiry. So that was about about as far as it went.

This week before the class it happened I had listened to a Speaking of Faith broadcast, "A New Voice for Islam" about Ingrid Mattson, president of the Islamic Society of North America. So I dared to ask this parent if she knew the organization.

She asked about what the topic of the program had been. She soon told me that people are hesitant to talk about religion (and politics), but she thinks, why not, and said she's not easily offended. Those are usually my lines!! Noting that people in America are often not well informed about Islam or about things outside of America (which I have no doubt is true and applies to me more than I like to admit), she said she likes it when people ask about her religion. You can be sure I took that as an invitation I wasn't going to pass up!

She and I were joined by a Mormon parent and carried on a fascinating conversation for the remainder of the time of the class! Usually I'm trying to prod my child and the friend that rides with us to get ready to go. This time they were ready before we managed to conclude the conversation!

I'm sure it's a conversation that will continue. I'm excited and grateful.

Striving for Community

2008-03-11T12:46:00.004-05:00

We're always striving for something. That's good. But sometimes we strive so much for that elusive thing that we don't realize the ways we already have it. We let it slip through our lives under appreciated, under engaged.

I got to thinking about this related to community. Why do I fail to appreciate the community I have? A-ha! Maybe because my relationships are so compartmentalized that they don't integrate to the point that they feel like community. Its as if work, church, my kids' school, various friends, relatives, etc. all exist in worlds of their own. The relationships I have in those contexts have boundaries of expectation and commitment that are largely limited to those contexts. Those boundaries can be a hurdle to cross even when it may be appropriate and desirable to do so.

But some of the boundaries are in my mind. I see co-workers, people from church, parents of my kids' friends, etc. when I could expand my thinking to see more holistically. I could be more mindful and appreciative of the relationships I have with these people. I could recognized that these are people with whom there may be potential to expand relationships and community if I (and they) are willing to open windows, doors, maybe eventually even take down walls of the boxes of our lives.

I'm not looking to invade any one's life. That's obnoxious. Nor am I looking for all my compartmentalized relationships to overlap. I think that would be too homogeneous, too stifling. But I would like a lot more integration than I have now.

Maybe a way forward is to continue to say this:

I have community. How did I experience it today?

Odd Man (sic?) Out Again

2008-02-15T15:15:00.009-06:00

As it goes on the web, one thing led to another until I was taking a survey comparing myself to other Americans on religious measures. (If you want to join the fun go to the bottom of the page at The Association or Religion Data Archives).

The result that most caught my attention came from the question asking if I think God is a he. Of course I said (any guesses....?) that I strongly disagree. Hope I didn't shock too many of you too badly.

What surprised me was how many women matching my age group, education level and who identified as Protestant differ in perspective from me.

Those who disagree (7%) or strongly disagree (15%) that God is a he total 22%.
Those undecided are 26%.
Those who agree or strongly agree that God is a he total 52%

That got me to wondering about those of the same demographic but of no religion. On this measure I'd fit in better there.

Those who don't think God is a he are 67%.
Undecided 21%.
Those who think God is a he are 12%

I'm tempted to make so much more comment on this.....but I'm afraid to do it here in such a one way form of potentially public communication...too much potential for button pushing and misunderstanding.

Want to talk further? Let me know. This and so many other topics of even greater importance deserve open honest conversation that they too rarely get.

A Banner Day

2008-02-13T04:12:00.004-06:00

Today, through various means, initially including what appears to be a chance circumstance, I found two poems that made a significant impression on me way back in high school, that I haven't known where to find, and lyrics to a song that I find quite intriguing.

If you're interested or care to indulge me, they are:

William Carlos Williams, "The Red Wheelbarrow"

Countee Cullen, "Any Human to Another"

Dar Williams, "The Christians and the Pagans"

Isolation

2008-02-12T14:22:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was recognized for a mile mark in years of service with my current employer. Wow - I've known some of the people I work with for a long time! Even some of the co-workers who I've only known for a short part of my tenure are people with whom I've spent many many hours. And I think I spend more time in the room in which I work at my paid job than I spend in any other space than my bed.

In contrast, I spend little bits of time with parents, children and others at church. (Not to mention my limited time with my own family, but thats a separate topic, sort of.) I experience increasingly good connections in those times. But they seem so limited and undeveloped. I want so much more.

I want to quit my job and study theology, work out a whole bunch of ideas I have for children's and family ministry at church, and connect with other parents and ministers and people of my faith and of other faiths and of no faith at all. I want to engage in all sorts of this kind of endeavor. I want to be able to dedicate time to this - without stealing it from so many other parts of my life and I want to be able to dedicate enough time to this to make more than the little bit of slow progress I seem to be able to make.

But even if I quit my job to do that (which I don't really consider a viable option, just a dream), would it really work? Where are the people to connect with? I'm an introvert, so I can sit here at my computer or go over to church and have a good time doing all kinds of projects all by myself. But in the end, much of my goal is to have something together as a community. And how can I have or develop that community based on the little snatches of time that myself or any of the rest of us can muster to spend time connecting in one form or the other?

Some good things are happening and I guess I just have to keep at it....keep building on those...and I plan to....but right now I'm impatient, frustrated, discouraged, questioning.

Anybody have any perspective? The same or different?

Ashes

2008-02-06T18:07:00.000-06:00

What if instead of a priest giving us all ashes, we gave them to each other?
What if we shared them as paritioners one to another?
What if we were given our ashes by the people closest to us? By the oldest or youngest in our family?
What if we were to impose ashes on those closest to us?
What if we shared the ashes as neighbors or friends?
What if ashes were shared among strangers on the bus?

We are all dust and to dust we shall return.

Do You Hate Lent?

2008-02-06T16:34:00.000-06:00

Are you familiar with the perspective of church as a judgemental, condemning place where one is coerced into submission to perscribed beliefs and obligations (or guilt for not submitting)?

In contrast, this year as Lent starts I'm thinking about faith and church as providing a safe place to admit struggles, sins and shortcomings. The degree to which that ideal is realized of course varies. But I think the degree to which I'm able to make those admissions is largely based in my faith. And I think I need to let my faith help me make more of those admissions.

It's not about condemnation or self abasement. It's not about taking on undue guilt of one form or the other. It's not about an emphasis on the negative.

It's about being able to stop being defensive. It's about being able to be honest. It's about being able to let go. It's about the liberation and life that can enter oneself and one's relationships when we're able to admit our role in problems and conflicts instead of building up walls of defense from which we throw grenades of blame.

It becomes about living the liturgy in daily life.

What if I asked my spouse to remind me through Lent that we are dust and to dust we will return?
What if in the midst of an arguement I set aside blaming the other (even if they are to blame for something) and admitted my role in the problem?
What if we regularly exhanged peace at home?
What if we understood our dinner table as a place to seek and identify with Jesus, the meanings of his life, death, resurrection and the Spirit in and surrounding us?
Would we go in peace to love and serve? By the time Easter comes, would we find ourselves rejoicing in the power of the Spirit?

A Share in a Priestly Office

2008-01-23T02:56:00.000-06:00

I'm not going to bother to get this post all refined, because if I do it will probably never get posted. So, take it for what it is....a few thoughts that I think are meaningful & relevant, but that are not well edited for the level of precision and balance that my perfectionism (or some equally difficult quality) tends to compel me toward.

I'm reading "The Gnostic Gospels" by Elaine Pagels. In the chapter "God the Father/God the Mother" she writes (pg 60):

"Worst of all, from Irenaeus' viewpoint, Marcus invited women to act as priests in celebrating the eucharist with him: he 'hands the cups to women' to offer up the eucharistic prayer, and to pronounce the words of consecration."
And she quotes Tertullian as saying:

"These heretical women - how audacious they are! They have no modesty, they are bold enough to teach , to engage in argument, to enact exorcisms, to undertake cures, and, it may be, even to baptize!"

Wow - I wonder what the experiences of these women were like! Its exciting to have the threads of equality and liberation for women go back this far, while discouraging to find such appalling views related to women as the mainstream of our heritage. (And it still shows of course.) It's remarkable in the face of the fact that the issue seems to have been at hand back in the early days of Christianity, that ordination of women has been very much an issue within my lifetime. (I'm well aware as I say this, that there are those who have a very different perspective on this and who would see me as very misled from God's will for my life and role in saying this. I'm tempted to go on about my experiences in such settings...but that would be a digression.)

But yet another quote brings me to an even more widely reaching issue. The quote from Tertullian, referring to the 'precepts of ecclesiastical discipline concerning women' says:

"It is not permitted for a woman to speak in the church, nor is it permitted for her to teach, nor to baptize, nor to offer [the eucharist], nor to claim for herself a share in any masculine function - not to mention any priestly office."

This makes me wonder, who are we now excluding from a share in priestly office?

Obviously the controversy in so many churches regarding ordination (to various offices) of people who are gay or lesbian comes to mind.
But think further.

What if the person offering the eucharist next Sunday was a homeless person?
What if it was a lay person?
What if it was a child?
What if it was the person next to you in the pew?
What if it was you?
What if it was a Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, Catholic, Baptist...?

Who bears the image of Christ in our midst that we are failing to see, failing to let serve us, or failing to honor and bless?

The City - Being Killers or Keepers

2008-01-15T18:16:00.000-06:00

Okay, I can't seem to get these published in the right order. So if you would, please go DOWN to the post "The City - Able, Cain & Enoch - The Text" and read up from there. (The City - Being Killers or Keepers last).

So is the city a place of creativity, opportunity and positive things or a place of evil and ills?

My family of origin has some interesting stories related to members of the family who have gone to a town or city for employment, recreation, or other opportunities. One of the family's elders had concerns. The city was seen by this elder as a place where exposure to others with different beliefs and values might influence family members to immorality and other err.

Has it been? Of course I can't claim that all responses to situations in the city have been sinless. Furthermore, I don't think all family members would agree about which responses to count as a demonstration of downfall and which to count as demonstration of growth. But I see a lot of spiritual growth and good that has come through first hand exposure, and in some cases the good fortune of friendship, with the "other" that the streets of the city have connected me with.

The city's concrete moves me away from nature, but it connects me with people of diverse experience, belief and perspective. This too is a spiritual issue that connects us with deep and basic things. Too often such differences lead members of the human family to be their brother's competitor or even killer as Cain was. The city affords us many opportunities to make choices that perpetuate our separation from those who differ from us, or that help us be each other's keepers.

In the middle of this city, in our Garden of Gethsemane, how do we do that? How else can we do that?

The City - From Eden to a New Place

2008-01-15T16:11:00.000-06:00

I'm starting to wonder if this might be another story of departure from Eden. Maybe the land Cain was cut off from was the land of Eden. He went to live in a place wandering east of Eden. He was cut off from the land of the garden, where nature and humanity had lived in sync for a time, where God and people had walked together and where people were to be their brother's keeper. Cain had not been his brother's keeper. He was his brother's competitor and killer. As a result Able's blood cries out to God from the ground, Cain is under a curse and driven from the ground. It seems an interesting parallel to Adam and Eve being driven from the garden.

But Cain's anticipation of hopeless vulnerable wandering doesn't appear to happen. Most obviously God gives him a mark of protection. But note also, Cain doesn't seem to keep wandering. He establishes a family and builds a city. From that comes all kinds of things that we might regard as a mixture of good and bad, potential realized, failure and grace.

The City - Cut Off From the Land

2008-01-14T13:17:00.000-06:00

Cain laments that he will be cut off from the land and cut off from God.

I have to wonder again about what the text means. What is "the land"? A certain part of land? An area of land in which to root oneself? The land of the earth itself?

To my ears, being cut off from the land, and eventually ending up in a city, as Cain did, makes me think of the differences in my relationship with the land and nature associated with my rural farm upbringing and my current city life.

In the city I'm not sure where to go to see the sunset on the horizon. City light obscures the stars. I dare to go out in blizzards and drive around with tornadoes a few miles away. Rain determines whether or not a put on a jacket, not when I go to work in a field or whether or not there is a crop.

In the city my perception of location and how to get from point A to point B is not shaped by trees, rocks and animal paths as it might have been in older times or more remote places than I have lived. Neither is it framed by the gravel mile roads of the rural area that is still partly home to me. Rather it closes in, proscribed block by block by concrete that moves my feet & heart that much farther from the earth.

In spite of the strengths of the city that I value, I'm always torn. Maybe someday I'll return to the country. Why knows. I don't like being this removed from the land. It's not just an aesthetic or recreational issue. It's a spiritual issue. Earth, air and water are old and basic to our being, both physically and otherwise. Consider their role in our creation story. Our natural selves (in a good sense of the word) resonate with them. Connecting with them connects us to something old, deep, vast and basic. The freeways and sidewalks, 35W, 4th Ave S, new streets in the outer suburbs, are new and short lived. Their origins, in this part of the world, connect us back a few years to a century or so. That's more meaningful and worthwhile than we often realize. But it isn't the same. Could this be why Cain complained of being cut off from the land and being cut off from God almost in the same breath?

But there is the other side....evidence of hope in the text and experience of spiritual connections brought through the city. More on that in another post.

The City - Able, Cain & Enoch - The Text

2008-01-14T12:44:00.000-06:00

This post & the 3 below (no, make that above...) go together are related to a post on The Vicar's Page about the City, especially as referenced in Gen 4.

The Cain & Able story doesn't make clear why God accepted Able's offering but not Cain's. As far as I can tell Cain made a good faith offering & God rejected it. That bothers me, and if I were Cain, I would be even more upset about it. But would I go kill my brother over it? I don't think so.

The more I think about it the more it seems that at some point thousands of years ago the tellers & hearers of this story must have had a context that gave them more, or at least different things, to go on to understand the story. Reading a few things I could quickly find raises some interesting ideas (the story might related back to a Sumerian mythology, it might be a priestly statement about what kinds of offerings are prefered, it might represent a conflict between hersmen & agrarian oriented people, there's midrash about Cain & Able's conflict having been over women, there are implications about the names & occupations of Cain's children, .....etc.) Interesting and worthwhile, but it hasn't left me with clarity about how to grasp on to this text.

The reference to a city in the text had not stuck in my memory before. What does it mean? Why was it included in the text? I'm not sure. But with that disclaimer, I'll forge boldly ahead to my next post about what I pick up on with my own 2008 perspective.

The City as a the place we work out our corporate life - intro to my reflections

2008-01-11T01:46:00.000-06:00

I said in a comment on Aron's blog, The Vicar's Page that I would take a stab at writing about some of the contexts in which I've reflected about the meanings and implications of city. This was spurred by an idea that he says has been sticking with him & that he intends to write about and that I find interesting: that the city is the context in which we work out our corporate life.

I realized when I came here to do that writing that writing about all those contexts at once would end up being a long unengaging blah, blah, blah that no one would want to read.

So, I'll see if I can do any better by writing about one of those contexts at a time. Next post will be the first of them.

I'd though I'd go on to that next post now, but I'm losing energy for it at the moment. Aron only did an intro to the topic, so I'll consider it fair to leave my comments at that level too for now. (Aron, you can consider this as support to keep up your resolution....and as you do your weekly post, I'll comment and/or add a city oriented post here.)

Spiritually Transformative Stories

2007-12-06T13:47:00.000-06:00

Hearing each other's stories is important.

When you just hear some one's position on something, you might agree, you might disagree, it might happen to strike you, or you might be unengaged.

But when you hear their story.....when you start to understand their experience and how it has shaped them & their perspectives.....that's where there's great potential for spiritual transformation.

Hearing each other's stories offers potential for learning new things about who we are, who those around us are, what our culture is, who or what God is, how those things interact and the ways we fit into that web (or that constellation, that metaphorical city, that collection of slime mold...)

Mother Banjo

2007-11-27T02:25:00.000-06:00

Listen to someone familiar here. (The address was in the newspaper.)

Is there a way to have her do music for some Sunday morning services?!

Oboe, Piano, Taize, Hymns

2007-11-26T02:04:00.001-06:00

I really liked Beth's oboe music in church today. I'd like to hear more of it. Maybe she could be asked to solo sometimes.

I liked the piano music during communion. It was contemplative which seems good to me in that time.

During the sermon when Aron sang (I think a Taize song, that I knew & that was one simple repeated line.) I sort of wished he'd keep singing it and we could all sing along.

I liked singing a couple of the hymns that were old familiar ones I've known for years & made positive associations with long ago. Some of the words I liked, some I wasn't so sure about & some I want to go back & think about some more. But regardless they rang a bell that I liked.

Community with Aquaintances

2007-10-27T01:24:00.000-05:00

One thought led to another & it occurred to me just now that in the 5-6 years I've been at Gethsemane, I've never been in the home of anyone from the congregation and no one from the congregation has been in my home (nor have I invited them to be). In fact, in terms of anything that "counts," I can't recall that I've ever done anything with anybody from church outside the walls of the church.

I have some good conversations at church. I have some personal conversations at church. I have some good connections with certain people at church. And yes, a community does include acquaintances. But I think it should also include people with whom one has closer or more developed relationships than I have at Gethsemane at this point. I wonder if its just me, or if lots of us are in the same boat.

I've had experiences, in a couple other churches, where there were very specific efforts to establish community that, though entirely well intended, and in some cases with very good results, I've had some tensions with. There have been times in my life when community was not what I was seeking through church, and not what I wanted to be pushed into at church. I think for where I was at in my life at those points that was fine. I assume others are at that point at some times too and I'm fine with that. Even at times when I was quite open to building relationships and community, some of the programmed efforts to establish it rubbed me the wrong way. Though programs may be needed to facilitate community, I think true community is organic more than programmed. When I don't feel this is adequately recognized and accounted for I bristle.

That said, nearly 6 years at Gethsemane without more development of relationships seems to be out of balance. What's up with this? In part I know. My social life has been in sorry state pretty much the whole time since I've had kids, if not longer. My sense of openness or flexibility to schedule any number of things that I might have in the past has gone by the wayside. My work schedules have been outside the mainstream norm for a large part of the last 9 years. In addition to these & other factors on my side, I don't think we've made a point to create as many opportunities at Gethsemane as some churches do.

What would happen if I could manage to make a point to create some opportunities, either formal & programmed or informal & personal? Would people have the inclination to respond? Would people have space in their lives to respond? I hope so. I know there is a lot to be gained in many ways on many levels. And selfishly (to be honest, of course this better reflects my felt motivation) sometimes I get very busy & very full of all kinds of stuff (ideas, excitement, questions, issues....) that grows out of working on children's & family ministry and out of parenting and I feel too alone with it.

Diverse Events with Overlapping Themes

2007-10-26T16:44:00.000-05:00

A lot of things I've been exposed to lately seem to fit together.

Planning for All Saints Day at church got me thinking about things passed on generation to generation - all kinds of things in all kinds of time frames.

I found wonderful books on the theme at the library (more on them another time hopefully). Some highlight how as things are passed on they both stay the same and change.

That reminds me of the Speaking of Faith podcast Aron's post prompted me to listen to, and the ways scripture and tradition are both the same and different as we continue to interact with them.

I went to a presentation by Marie Olofsdotter and students at my kids' school. Olofsdotter has recently been an artist in residence there. She read Sofia and the Heart Mender. There were several exciting connections I experienced during the event - some highlighted the theme above, one in a personal way. Another came from her book which I want to read again thinking about themes related to the immanence of God that have been on my mind because of the discussion of "The God We Never Knew" in the Gethsemane Book Group.

I also caught a snatch of a Radio Lab broadcast about memory. They claimed that when we remember something, we're not remembering the original event, but remembering the last time we remembered it, recreating the memory and reinterpreting for the present time. Fascinating implications for this whole idea of things being passed on generation to generation.

Music I Love

2007-10-17T02:48:00.000-05:00

Two rather different examples of music that inclines me to external stillness and internal reflection of a meditative nature.

The Irish Brigade's tunes. (Play the reels on this site.) The tunes are wonderful in themselves and juxtaposed with war ballads and other songs with lyrics, those songs just become all the more powerful. Check the schedule at The Half Time Rec for a chance to hear the live version.
Busy organ music. If the postlude at church isn't enough, try listening to Pipe Dreams.

My tastes run much wider than this, but these have recently been in my ear and on my mind.

Movie: For The Bible Tells Me So

2007-10-15T02:52:00.000-05:00

Do you know about this one? For The Bible Tells Me So is at the Lagoon through Oct 18.

It's a documentary having to do with Christianity, scripture and sexual identity. Stories told by members of 5 families, including Bishop Gene Robinson and others in his family, make up the bulk of the film.

I saw if Friday. I recommend seeing it. There's more worth being said about it. Hopefully I can get to that. For now I at least wanted to say this much since the opportunity to see it appears limited.

Book Discussion: The God We Never Knew

2007-10-15T02:17:00.000-05:00

If you've found your way here, but not to the Gethsemane Book Group, check it out. We're discussing topics from "The God We Never Knew: Beyond Dogmatic Religion to a More Authentic Contemporary Faith" by Marcus Borg.

I've read the book & had trouble getting through some of it efficiently because I was so busy underlining and making notes and then getting lost in thought stemming from what I was reading. You know that feeling of finding something in writing that resonates with your views in a particularly rewarding or refreshing way? You know that other feeling of reading something that puts pieces together in a way you never thought of before and the little ah-ha light bulb goes on? Those are the kinds of experiences that made me so interested in this book.

If you only know Borg by reputation, I'd recommend checking his writing out for yourself. (And if you pick this book to do it with, don't misread the word panentheism and promptly end your exploration because you thought he said pantheism.)

Little Ah-Has

2007-09-19T11:32:00.000-05:00

On the Trinity questions.

I've been reading The God We Never Knew by Marcus Borg. (Watch for an upcoming online book discussion on this.) He indicates the term persons in ancient texts doesn't mean separate individuals as we think of. Instead it refers to different roles. (pp. 97-98) This concept makes a lot more sense to me.

Second, in thinking about the traditional terminology of Father, Son & Holy Spirit and other terminology that is or might be use, I came upon this idea. I was trying out the gender neutral terms Parent, Child....but I didn't like that because child conveys the sense of a person who is not an adult whereas son is inclusive of all ages. This brought me to the term offspring. It may not be the most poetic term, but it triggered something in me.

At first the idea of offspring seemed a bit objectionable. God is God and God having offspring, or that offspring being Offspring with a capital O (that is God), seemed to be a lowering or compromise of the concept of God. Though the same issue exists with the concept of father and son, I hadn't had the same clarity about it until I thought in terms of parent and offspring.

Then I realized that maybe the concept of Offspring is the point. Its not that it lowers the concept of God, rather it elevates the concept of Offspring, broadens the concept of God and fits together with a few things that make sense to me that I hadn't been able to put together before. Offspring God emanates from Parent God, but its still all the same - its all God. I sense possible connections to the relational, communal aspect of the trinity, to panentheism (no, that's not a typo of pantheism, that's a different thing), to what's reflected in the Holy Trinity icon I wrote about before, to the immanence of God, to creation - both past and continuing...

This is exciting.

I'll have to live and work with this a lot more to become more clear on which of these connections hold up and how those that do work out, not to mention to get to a point to be able to talk or write about it more clearly. For now I hope someone reading this has a sense of what I mean.

It's A Blurry Line...

2007-09-11T22:23:00.000-05:00

between posts that belong on my other blog and those that fit here. So I'll let you know I recently posted Visiting Another Church on Children in Church.

It has to do with encouragement or discouragement of the perception that one can make choices in the context of religion.

Music...

2007-08-27T01:15:00.000-05:00

...is so personal.

I think all of the music in church is well selected and of good quality....but some of it I find dry, unengaging and unmoving. On the other hand I love some of it and am moved by some of it to the point of tears.

Problem is, I imagine some of what I would be more than happy to do without others value and some of what I love others deplore.

Take today for example. It was jazz mass. (Wonderful in my book). We sang "I Love to Tell the Story." I wondered how many people knew this song. I wondered what others thought of it. I tried to figure out a bit of what I though of it.

I sang most of it (including the 2nd verse) with only peeks at the hymn book. I know this song. This is a song from my childhood. These old songs bridge the gap between the more conservative place from which I have come (which will always be part of me in some ways) and the more liberal place in which I am now. Singing them at Gethsemane is an interesting and rewarding connective experience. (Not that the hymns we usually sing are liberal at all, just not so deeply familiar and evocative for me, and Gethsemane is in general more liberal than the churches from my childhood and past.)

I'm not at all sure that I would be much interested in "I Love to Tell the Story" if I didn't know it from my past. But I do. It took me back to specific places. It reminded me of my grandparents. It made connections between various parts of my faith and life for me. And it had new meaning as well as old because my grandmother and grandfather, who are strongly associated with my faith and religious experience as a child, and for whom I think their faith meant practically everything, both died within the last couple years. The 2nd verse includes the words..."and when in scenes of glory I sing the new, new song; 't will be the old, old story that I have loved so long."....you see where I'm going with this I guess.

I cried this morning in church and I'm crying even more now.

Hints About the Trinity Puzzle

2007-07-31T01:24:00.000-05:00

Came upon a blog by a priest in England. She seems to offer well informed & interesting perspectives. Her writing on the Trinity has some things I find worth further reflection.

So far, off the cuff, I'm thinking I like the way she backs us up to look at the concept of Trinity in terms of the concept of God this gives us before letting us jump too quickly to applications for worship and mission. She's getting the horse & the cart in the right order. This lends to exploration and development of the concept with a sense of credibility and integrity.

I think she has good points about the effects of "unitarian" worship as a face off between us and God...but I have the sense that there are also other better ways seeing God as a unity can work out too. I'm not ready to put that concept aside quite so much.

I have issues about how predominantly we anthropomorphize our concept of God. Even though her language about the Trinity includes some of that, somehow her explanations help show me a window for thinking of God as Trinity without necessarily carrying the personified, anthropomorphic concepts as far as usual. I think that comes largely from her talking about the movement, exchange and non-coercive openness that can be implied in the concept of Trinity. That can be understood in non-anthropomorphic ways.

Finally, I notice that she's talking about responding to the invitation to join with the Trinity in a way where we may end up hardly noticing the seams....this is some of what I was wondering about in my previous thoughts stemming from the Rublev icon...she has the courage and clarity to say what I didn't.

Her work and my response deserve more careful treatment than I've given them here. My reading and writing have been hasty and I hope I haven't misrepresented her perspectives, or my own for that matter. But...I think I'll give myself this disclaimer and thereby try to give myself permission to let go of some perfectionism and post....Here goes.

Increased Interest in Trinity

2007-07-23T03:29:00.000-05:00

Two things have struck me and increased my interest in the Trinity since the BCMS paper got my attention on the topic.

One is the The Holy Trinity Icon and explanation that Aron brought to my attention. The Trinity is pictured around a table, with an open place (with food)...an open place for us. In this concept I sense a new perspective with new potential.

How might that image speak to the nature of God and to the nature of God as Trinity?

Might that open place for us be understood as inherent to the nature of God?

What does it mean to have that open space there for us? Is it an invitation or something else?

If an invitation, what are we invited to do or be? If something else, what?

The other thing that struck me and piqued my interest was the image (called a triquetra) that I found in the lower picture on this page while searching for labyrinths to walk. Apparently this familiar image and the concept of Trinity extends beyond its specifically Christian associations. Finding "Christian" concepts in other contexts tends to increase my sense that the relevance of those concepts isn't limited to a certain sectarian way of framing things, but that they speak to something basic and broad.

How accurate is that sense in this case? If accurate, what is that relevance?

Why has trinity been important in other belief systems as well as in Christianity?

What about reality, what about the Divine does it reflect that I haven't been keying in on?

How might my response to these questions impact my perspective on orienting our understanding of mission to our understanding of the Trinity...?

The BCMS Paper & The Trinity as an Understanding of God

2007-07-20T12:39:00.000-05:00

So, I'm finally going to add some more in response to the BCMS paper. The end of my last post pointed to some next questions including: Should I/we relate more stongly to the concept of the Trinity? Why or why not? Thoughts in that vein follow.

I see the Trinity as a way to think of God, but not the only way to think of God. I'm suspicious of treatments of the Trinity as more or less the be-all end-all, exclusively right & necessary way to conceptualize God. Christians in general, and the BCMS paper, tend too much toward this approach in my opinion. At the same time, a couple things that have come up since I've started thinking about this lead me to believe that the concept of Trinity deserves more credit and attention than I have previously given it. Let me fill in a little on those thoughts as I continue.

All our language for God is metaphor. Each metaphor keys in on some aspect of the truth. But none of the metaphors adequately capture, completely describe or explain God. We come closer to understanding God, and our spiritual lives expand through use of varied and multiple images for God.

Though the authors of the BCMS paper may (or I suppose may not) understand things this way, the language of the BCMS paper doesn't leave me feeling that way. For example, in the section "Mission Begins with the Trinity" the paper states, "The Christian understanding of God is highly relational: God's identity consists in the loving communion...of three distinct yet inseparably united divine persons..." (bold emphases mine). This makes things sound pretty definitive and limited. It sounds like beyond this particular understanding we are no longer in Christian territory. It sounds to me like beyond this we are no longer talking about God as God should be understood. Does it sound that way to you too, or not?

I don't argue against Trinity being a good and important way to understand God. But to make it too exclusive a way to understand God limits our ability to comprehend God in and around us as fully as possible. It also unduly limits our ability to communicate and relate to people in our society. This makes the adequacy and wisdom of orienting our whole sense of mission around such exclusive sounding concepts of God questionable.

That said, what HAS interested me more in the concept of the Trinity lately? See my next post - hopefully coming soon, where I finally get to be more positive, and hopefully add credibility to the idea that I do want to do more than be part of a "culture of 'complaint, critique and criticism.' ”

Stars

2007-07-18T04:32:00.000-05:00

The natural and the spiritual have a big overlap in my perspective.

Over the last few months I've been observing the stars more.

Part of what fascinates me is that they are simultaneously something so ancient and so much a part of our everyday world.

We take them for granted, and for most of us their details & patterns of visibility go on without our awareness. (We speak about the stars moving. But this just points all the more to our self-centeredness and limited of awareness of the context of our existence. The movement is really that of the earth on which we are riding.)

How much goes on around us of which we are unaware.

What an interesting contrast between us and people of times past. They may not have know that the earth was round or the shapes the continents take. Yet I'm sure many were much more knowledgeable about the patterns of the stars, and familiar with them, than most of us are.

What an interesting connection we have to people through countless ages as we look at stars that they also observed - specific individuals, and people in general.

Such thoughts increase my sense of connection to aspects of spirituality that extend beyond my own life, beyond our own times, beyond history that we know...to reaches that we have a limited and vague knowledge of, then beyond that to reaches I can not comprehend, about which I do not know.

And yet in the midst of that I remain grounded by the physical reality of the stars that I see and the tangible, definable information that I have and continue to learn about them.

What a wonderful combination!

The BCMS Paper - The Trinity

2007-05-30T03:06:00.000-05:00

In my post BCMS Paper - First Impression I basically said I didn't find the section of the paper titled "Mission Begins with the Trinity" as compelling as I would hope. Now I'll start to say some things about why I think that is.

Referring to God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit seems familiar to me. Calling God Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer seems good to me.

Still, I find the concept of the Trinity rather obtuse. Not the concept of each of the persons of the Trinity, but the concept of the Trinity itself, as well as the concept of the relationship between the persons of the Trinity. I don't think the concept of the Trinity has ever struck home to me in a way that makes it as elevated and central as this document and the church in general makes it. I have the suspicion there are a lot of people in and around the church in the same boat. As I recall, Patrick Keifert wrote about this state of affairs among many in the church in WE ARE HERE NOW: A New Missional Era.

For one who doesn't relate strongly to the concept of the Trinity, pegging and orienting mission to the Trinity isn't as compelling as might be hoped.

So among the next questions: why don't I/we relate more to the concept of the Trinity? Should we? Why or why not?

The BCMS Paper- Joining the Conversation

2007-05-26T02:00:00.000-05:00

The Bishop's Commission on Mission Strategy, Episcopal Diocese of Minnesota has written a paper called "What Are We Here For? A Theological Position Paper on Mission."

The paper makes clear that it's intended to generate conversation. I hope to join the conversation here.

In trying to respond to the paper, I feel like a line from the paper, "Mission Impossible!? Where Do We Begin?" There's a lot there, a lot to think about, a lot that might be said and asked. In keeping with yesterday's post, I'll try to just bite off bits at a time.

BCMS Paper - First Impression

2007-05-26T00:50:00.000-05:00

There is so much that I like in this paper, that I hate to begin on a problematic note. However, an issue that raises concern for me comes up early in the paper, so I will talk about it early in my responses. I hope you can bear with me.

I also hope those who have obviously labored with experience, education and knowledge beyond my own; and no doubt labored with conviction and love to create a careful, meaningful and useful expression of these points, will not find me impudent or otherwise offensive. I guess honest responses are important, to me and to the results of the paper, so with intimidation & worry I'll forge ahead, submitting my perspectives for what they may be worth.

The section titled "Mission Begins with the Trinity" gave me the feeling of being head theology that isn't making a good connection to heart theology. Ideally they are one and the same, but that's not what I've perceived in reading this section.

For me, too much of the section reads like a dry, heady recitation of inherited Christian dogma. To put it another way, the preface of the paper mentions that theology involves faith seeking understanding. This section kind of seems like an understanding trying to generate faith.

I want to be clear at this point that I don't mean what I'm saying in today's post to be a comment about the specific meanings of the content. I'm not trying to say I think it's true or not or anything like that. I'm talking in general about how I feel it comes off. I'll get to my theories about why (including, but not limited to, some thoughts about the content) in future posts.

All theology is of course constructed. What I think we hope to end up with in constructing theological statements are statements that do a compelling job of reflecting what we think in our heads and believe in our hearts to be true. If we achieve that goal there is a resonance, a passion, a click. I don't find enough of that resonance or passion when I read this section. The writers may have had it. I can't comment on that. But it doesn't do it for me.

Mission seems to imply and require passion. So, if too many people respond to this section as I did, I'm afraid it won't be as effective or useful as it's desired to be.

I keep thinking that to be sure I'm being fair maybe I should read it again. (I think I've read it twice so far, and wrote most of this not long after the 2nd reading, since which some time has passed.) I probably will read it again at some point and see if I still feel this way. But I don't think its a good sign for me to have to read it again in the hope that I'll find it less dry and more compelling. It may be just me. But if it's not, I'm not sure enough people will give it that many chances. Even if they do, first impressions can be powerful and we would hope for them to be positive and compelling in this case.

Well, so much for a short post. But at least I'm posting. (Remember I said yesterday I write long things that I don't post? There's more where this came from. But I will try to keep them short if I can. Sometimes I guess it takes a bit of writing to work oneself out onto a limb...eek...I hope it doesn't crash with me on it.)

Short, Sweet? & Frequent

2007-05-24T10:53:00.000-05:00

I write lengthy things I never post. I'm afraid no one will read them & I'm afraid of what they might think if they do.

I'm overwhelmed by the volume of issues & questions that I want to process, get feedback about, contribute to the general dialog....

So, I'm going to try to post more frequent, shorter things. I'm going to try to resist my compulsions for detail and perfectionism.

That said, enough said.

More tomorrow.

The Bells

2007-05-21T00:58:00.000-05:00

You know the bells that ring at the consecration of the bread and the wine during Eucharist?

Today at the consecration of the bread I heard a bell ring. Not the little hand held set that go ding-a-ling-a-ling. A big steeple bell. I thought maybe it was a neighbor church that coincidentally rang their bell at that time.

Then it happened again at the consecration of the wine.

Wonderful! I think this was our bell. I think it was rung on purpose!

How appropriate that the sound marking the consecration of the bread & the wine as the body & blood of Christ is not contained in the walls of our building, but rings out to the world around.

Now as the sound of the bell went forth, let us go forth into the world, rejoicing in the power of the Spirit.... bringing along within us to all those we meet the spiritual food of the body and blood of Christ.

Easter at May Day

2007-05-07T02:09:00.000-05:00

I love the annual Heart of the Beast May Day Parade.

It certainly isn't explicity or specifically Christian. It draws on mythologies of various belief systems and cultures. But if you wish to frame it that way, you can find a lot of Easter in it.

It's richer than I'll try to describe in this blog, but here's the key example as I see it. The story and themes portrayed by the parade usually flow along the lines of that which is good and full of life suffering or dying because of being overcome by evil. One of the portrayls of this is often the Tree of Life being carried through the parade in a horizontal position, draped with black cloth. It looks to me like a cross or a coffin. In the later part of the parade and especially later in the ceremony at Powderhorn Park, we experience resurrection as life triumphs and the Tree of Life is raised up again, alive, with the coming of the sun.

You might say the event succeeds at doing what we're trying to do at church. It connects universal themes to our day to day life in the context of a diverse community that celebrates the triumph of life over death and is re-energized to go forward embracing life and resisting evil, with the support of the community and the Power(s) that be.

Perhaps next year we can join in the workshops that create wonderful imaginative costumes to wear while marching in the parade and/or we can represent Gethsemane in the join in section at the end of the parade.

Sitting on the Floor

2007-04-22T15:02:00.000-05:00

Our church has a rug on one side of the sanctuary designed to give kids a place to move around as they play and worship during services. I've been wanting to tell you about one of the perks of sitting on the rug with kids.

I can freely sit in whatever position feels best & helps me engage in the service. No forced formal position in uncomfortable pews. I can sit on the floor. I can just be me.

Last Sunday I sat on the floor for a service at the National Cathedral in Washington!

Not in the nave.

In St Jospeph's Chapel in the crypt level (interesting place to celebrate Easter). Two of the 3 sides where the congregation sits are banks of carpeted steps! Wonderful.

Sadly, I missed seeing the Children's Chapel which I've since read is sized for a 6 year old child. (I guess I'll have to apply the travel saying....always leave something undone so you have a reason to go back)

Anyway, if you want to find a place on a floor or a rug Sunday morning at Gethsemane, with or without kids, as far as I'm concerned, more power to you.

A Way to Celebrate Easter

2007-04-01T08:12:00.000-05:00

We pay attention to Lent, Holy Week is full of services and observances, Easter is a big day...then we kind of forget about it. All this build up, then the big thing gets here and its over? Of course it isn't over in terms of its meaning. But it isn't over in terms of the church year either. The season of Easter is 50 days long. One thing available this year to help us celebrate and explore the meaning of Easter is the Alleluia Booklet. Its been put together by Gethsemane Episcopal Church with contributions from people from Gethsemane as well as others. Check it out at http://www.50alleluias.blogspot.com/

Stained Glass

2007-03-30T14:47:00.000-05:00

Everyone should have the chance I've had recently to sit in the quite dim church with the changing sunlight shining brightly through the stained glass, or to walk around and discover the rich and varied details! Its an array of intriguing beauty, inspiration and history not likely to be discovered in the lighting and business of Sunday morning.

Stations of the Cross

2007-03-18T01:20:00.000-05:00

Over the last few weeks I've been at church outside of Sunday mornings more often than usual. I'm amazed at the amount and variety of things that go on at church during these times. I often get to have a conversation with someone that I don't get much chance to talk with on Sunday morning.

I also have had opportunity to enjoy things in the church building itself that I wouldn't usually have the time or opportunity for, for example, the Stations of the Cross. Last year a new set of stations were installed. They're water color paintings by an artist who is part of the church. As good and relevant as the text often used for of the stations at Gethsemane is, trying to engage with the text and moving politely within a cluster of people going from station to staion didn't facilitate appreciating the paintings very well for me. Over the past few weeks I've walked around and just looked at them by myself a couple times. I think they're wonderful. I'd encourge you to take the time to just quietly take them in.

The Labyrinth

2007-03-05T02:13:00.000-06:00

Walk the labyrinth...

Gethsemane Episcopal Church

905 4th Ave S

Minneapolis

M-W-F

4:00 pm - 8:00 pm

through March 30, 2007

Snowstorm in the City

2007-03-04T01:10:00.000-06:00

The grid of sidewalk that shapes our perception becomes a little less dominant,
nature a bit more evident,
as I walk a footworn path in the snow.

Why is this on my Grown-up in Church blog? Aside from not having anywhere better to put it...because of its relevance to my spirituality. In my persective, the Christian tradition has a mixed relationship and often a general weakness when it comes to nature. I see this as unfortunate because I find a spiritual resonance in nature that I see as compatable with my understanding of God and my Christian faith.

Looking forward to the Labyrinth

2007-02-22T16:58:00.000-06:00

If you've never walked (or seen or even heard of) a labyrinth - don't worry. Feel free to come and give it a try. Very few, if any, instructions are needed and you can approach the experience however you feel comfortable , however you're led.

I view the labyrinth as a tool for meditation, prayer and reflection. Within that, the possibilities are vast.

Some people walk simply with an open mind & heart. Some walk meditating on Scripture. Others bring a specific prayer or a question with them into the path. Some walk marking a special occasion or a personal intention.

If interested, all you have to do is simply come and walk.

For those who may like to do some reading on labyrinths and walking them, I recently stumbled upon the book "Walking a Sacred Path" by priest and psychologist Dr. Lauren Artress. I found it interesting enough to read the whole thing. Someone else at church currently has my copy. The city library also has the book.

My Blogs are Back!

2007-02-15T09:22:00.000-06:00

Finally everything seems straightened out and I'll be able to write again!

Anticipate updates about once a week here and/or at http://www.childreninchurch.blogspot.com/.

I hope you'll join me in thought and conversation.

Why No Posts?

2007-02-02T01:44:00.000-06:00

Frustrating problems with being able to access my blog. Unfortunately not yet resolved. I got here this time...but once I sign out, who knows how I'll get back. I have a good guess what the problem is...but solving it is another thing. So, hopefully I'll get it worked out & you'll see some more posts here soon...or at least eventually. If nothing new is showing up, check for comments to this post where I'll tell you where I'm starting over. (I'm pretty sure I can post comments.) I hope it doesn't come to that. We'll see.

Christmas Day Off

2006-12-23T17:38:00.000-06:00

My co-workers and I pick work schedules on a seniority basis. No one expects anyone to pick on anything but a selfish basis (nor do we intend to ourselves). We aren't always happy with our lot, but seniority is the deal and we accept it.

When it came to picking shifts for Christmas, it turned out I would be the first person obligated to work the day if no one with more seniority choose to. I assumed I'd be working.

Shortly before Thanksgiving it was my turn to pick. Unexpectedly I had the option to take the day off! The co-worker one slot above me in seniority said she didn't really have anything going on and remembered how important Christmas was as a kid. (She doesn't have kids but knows I do.) She decided to work a shift so I could have the day off (or someone else could if I didn't want it)!

What I gift. I've been enjoying it since I received the first part of the gift before Thanksgiving. I'll especially enjoy it as I spend Christmas with my kids and husband. They'll enjoy it too. And I'll savor it all the more because of how quickly kids grow and change. This Christmas, or another with my kids as they are now, will never come again.

I doubt any of the typical Christmas gifts I've given or received have been as much in keeping with the meaning and spirit of Christmas as this. Its a notable act of giving of oneself for the good of others.

I didn't have the clarity to express the meaning of Christmas in those terms before I reflected on this situation. I know it doesn't cover all the bases. But it seems helpful, full of potential from secular or religious perspectives.

So, thanks to to sam for insight, inspiration and the gift of Christmas Day spent with my family.

I'm Not Waiting

2006-12-20T13:25:00.000-06:00

Advent - a time of waiting & preparing?

My kids are waiting....to have the Advent candles lit again (how many days ago did we last do that?)...to get out the Christmas decorations that aren't up yet....to open gifts....

I'm not waiting. I'm rushing against the clock to get everything done in time for Christmas.

In a way I am waiting....waiting and hoping for the elusive year I do it different and don't end up rushed and stressed...waiting and hoping that a time comes this year when enough of the preparations are done that I can slow down and sink more deeply into the meanings and joys of the holidays.

I am preparing. It's a lot of work. I guess making straight a highway in the desert would be a lot of work too. But I'm not sure how many of my preparations are preparing the way of the Lord.

How can I think about things differently so I do things differently so my family and I observe the season with less craziness and more meaning?

Name Tags

2006-12-11T10:36:00.000-06:00

I mentioned at church the other day that I'm glad we've gotten name tags to wear. There are so many people I know by sight, but not by name. A person who heard me said, "Oh, you too? I think we all have to admit that to each other." I felt a bit better, hearing that - maybe its not just me as much as I thought. In any case, thank you to those of you who got the name tags going!

Are You Lost Without Your Kids?

2006-12-08T15:21:00.000-06:00

That's what a couple people asked me last night at a church event that I attended by myself. The question echoed my thoughts from earlier in the evening. I've so rarely experienced a service or interacted with people at this church without the multi-tasking associated with being accompanied by my children. It's a notably different experience to be there on my own. As important as it is to me to routinely have my kids with me at church, one of its drawbacks is that it has contributed to certain limitations in my relationships with other adults there.

I've been wanting to post a few things that don't really fit into my Children in Church blog. My experience last night was the final impetus to give myself a place to do so through this new blog. I hope it will serve a few purposes. Among them, conversation. Feel free to join in.